The Madness Begins...

Once we got home from our Spring Break trip to Germany, and the move decision was final, utter chaos took over my life. I was faced with 2 1/2 months of total lunacy trying to organize the move and my "to-do" list was growing by leaps and bounds everyday.

I broke down the master list into copies to make (such as passports, drivers licenses, diplomas, marriage license, etc.) and copies to get (such as health & dental records, driving records, insurance information, a US IKEA catalog - so I could interpret what's in the German one, college recommendations for my 16-year-old daughter from teachers at her present school, and a confirmation from the State of IL that we don't receive kinder geld in the US so we can get it in Germany - still don't know who to ask for that one). I listed things to buy in the US (jeans, paperback romances and mysteries for me to read while in Germany, shoes for myself in wides and for my 13-year-old daughter in size 11, over-the-counter medicines and special cosmetics, transformers for converting German currency for US appliances, etc.) and things to buy in Germany (wardrobes since most of the bedrooms don't have closets, guest bedroom furniture, washer & dryer, extra refrigerator and maybe separate freezer, lamps, etc.). I made a list of things to sell, on ebay, at the garage sale, and locally through the paper or elsewhere, including our 3 tvs, the piano, 2 couches and 2 recliners, some exercise equipment, and the trampoline. The list also includes calls to make, research to do (on cars to buy in Germany, bank accounts, using VOIP sservice in Germany, and cellphone companies), things to sort and pack, and paperwork to be done (such as withdrawing my daughters from schools here, sending immunization records and photos to school in Germany, changing my Girl Scout & Destination Imagination bank accounts over to new people, and opening a Post Office box in New York in order to forward our mail there).

In addition to the master list, I had a weekly list of specific details, which first and foremost involved hiring a property manager to rent our home and manage the rentals while we're gone. I researched several, emailed a bunch, interviewed three and finally chose one. She came out and took pictures inside and out and went over our repairs list with me. Then I had to hire a handyman to start the repairs. I emailed everyone I know locally for suggestions, called several, interviewed three and hired one. Between touring the house with the prospective property managers and prospective handymen, I'm surprised I didn't just burn the place down, since so many of them thought it was a lost cause and no one would ever want to live there. True, our house in Elmhurst is 100 years old, has no central air conditioning, and needs some work. But, it's got great character, is huge, is on a great street in a nice neighborhood, in a great town and convenient to everything. We love this house and plan to come back and live here when our years in Germany are over, so it got discouraging to hear how little anyone else would like it.

Once the handyman was hired, then I needed to find people to do the things he wasn't going to do, such as replace the 6 cracked windows, paint the outside of the garage, paint all of the upstairs bedrooms, and refinish our staircase. Let me just say, it's a mystery to me why the house-owning public accepts as fact that no floor finishing company will refinish the risers of a set of hardwood stairs. I've interviewed six different refinishers and none of them would touch the risers. They'll refinish the runners, but suggest I get someone (else) to paint the risers. I don't want painted risers - I want them to match the runners. No go - unless I do it myself. I'm a housewife, a mother, a Girl Scout leader, active volunteer and licensed attorney - not a floor finisher. I have a million things to do between now and when I move my family of five to Germany for 3 years. So, we're getting carpet for the stairs & will worrying about refinishing them when we get back to the US.

Coordinating the logistics of getting all this work done on the house should qualify me for an important corporate position with a huge salary. The outside of the garage can't be painted until the handyman fixes the soffits on the garage. There's places on the outside of the house where the paint needs touch ups, but that can't be done until the cracked windows have been replaced, because the replacement of our picture window requires the removal of the outside sill and it will need repainting once the work is completed. The windows can't be washed until the new ones are installed. And the upstairs bedrooms shouldn't be painted until we move out and the rooms are empty. So, first we start with the handyman and the new carpet and we go from there.

Meanwhile, it takes 5-6 weeks for our furniture and belongings to arrive in Frankfurt after they are boxed and loaded here in Elmhurst, so we need somewhere to live in between. Fortunately, I always take our daughters to our family cottages in Upstate New York for the month of July, so this year, we plan to extend our stay from June 25 through August 6. I feel guilty about using up more than my fair share of weeks in our cottage, since my sisters & I usually rent out the empty weeks to help cover the cost of owning the cottages. But, I also want the girls and I to be able to spend time with the family before our move and hate the thought of living in a hotel longer than necessary. As it is, when we fly to Germany on August 6, we'll probably have to stay in a hotel there for a week or so until our furniture arrives.

In addition to all of this, our oldest daughter needs to take social studies in summer school in Elmhurst, because she wasn't able to fit it in her schedule during the school year and, therefore, has only taken 1 semester of social studies so far in her 2 years of high school. The International school in Germany wasn't impressed with this. So, she needs to stay in Elmhurst through July 21 to finish summer school. My husband has to be in Germany (and Sweden) on business the first week in June, the third week in June (yes, that's when the movers are coming), and the third week in July, although he has to be in Chicago (but not Elmhurst) the second week in July. So, we had to arrange with one of my daughter's friends and her parents to have our daughter stay with them during most of July when my dh is not in Elmhurst, although she can stay in a hotel with my dh the last week in June. And, of course, we have to have a back-up in case something happens with the friend or her family, so our daughter can move in with someone else if necessary.

Add into this mix that the International school in Frankfurt requires all of our daughters to take placement exams. The younger two only need to take English and math and can do that in August after we move to Germany. However, our oldest daughter needs to take exams in English, math, Spanish, Chemistry, Biology and social studies. Since she's taking social studies in summer school, she doesn't have to take that exam until August. The other five need to be taken as soon as possible, so they know where to place here for next year. The school has a 2-year program for sophomores and juniors that culminates at the end of the junior year in taking British exams - the IGCSE. Because our daughter is entering the school half-way through this 2-year program, they are very concerned about how to place her and prepare her for those exams. So, we tried to find a time that our daughter and one of her parents could fly back to Frankfurt, have a day or two to adjust to the time zone, take 2 days of exams and fly home. Not an easy task under the best of circumstances, but especially difficult with my husband's travel schedule, my daughter's exam and summer school schedule and my own schedule with our other 2 daughters and preparing for the move. Finally, the school agreed to fax the exams to a sister school in Minneapolis, so now we can fly up there at the end of her finals here in Elmhurst, take 2 days of tests in Minneapolis, maybe fit in a quick visit to the Mall of America, and then fly home before she begins her summer school course.

Meanwhile, it's the regular chaos of spring for most parents of school-aged kids in the US. My oldest is the manager of the sophomore baseball team, of which her boyfriend is a member, and has 3-4 games a week. My middle daughter is in softball, with 2 games and 1 practice every week, as well as track, which has a practice or meet everyday after school. My youngest daughter is in softball, again 2 games and 1 practice every week, and still has band, Girl Scouts, and other events meeting regularly. Add to that schedule that every group they've been in all year, including Girl Scouts, choir, band, etc., has an end-of-the-year something in May - concerts, campouts, parties, farewells, etc. Last, but certainly not least, the girls need a chance to say good-bye to their friends here, so we're having my oldest's sweet 16 party here with 45 of her closest friends, and my other two daughters have friends arranging parties for them, that we just have to fit into the schedule somewhere. I don't think the schedule has an inch to spare, but during my "down times," I'm still trying to sort out what gets moved, what gets stored, what gets sold and what goes in the trash. I'm thinking of running away to join the circus!

The Whirlwind Househunting trip...

Our visit over Spring Break 2006 was exciting, exhausting, successful and overwhelming - all at once. We flew over on a Saturday night, not leaving Chicago until 10:30 p.m. The flight was uncomfortable for me and I didn't sleep well, in part because my husband was snoring but was too far away for me to easily reach over and shake him. But also in part because my mind was racing with what we were about to do. The idea of picking a house and a school, making a final definite commitment to the move and what that would mean to our family, had a million thoughts flitting through my brain. My 10-year-old had no such problem. She was asleep in her seat before we took off from O'Hare and slept non-stop the entire trip. She slept through the meals and even when the flight attendant came and pushed her seat back to recline. She never moved. The other girls slept on-and-off, more on for the 15-year-old and more off for the 13-year-old. But everyone slept more than I did (except the couple sitting right in front of my snoring husband).

When we arrived it was Sunday afternoon. We'd rented a car, so dragged our significant stack of luggage all over the under-construction-Frankfurt airport more than once looking for the Thrifty car rental desk, only to learn that they are off-site and we had to call for them to pick us up. We had 2 cell phones with us, one German and one US one that was suppose to have service in Germany, but couldn't seem to make either work. So by the time we got Thrifty on the phone and they said they were on their way, we were already frustrated. Fortunately, in our travels, we saw a vending machine for Magnum ice cream bars - the best chocolate covered ice cream on a stick we've ever eaten, so we bought a couple to share while waiting for the van.

We picked up our rental car and headed off to the hotel. I say "car" in the most general sense of the word - we'd ordered a van because we knew that most German cars are small and we'd be travelling with not just the 5 of us, but also our relocation agent, possibly a realtor and my niece was coming to join us in Frankfurt from her semester abroad in London for the 2nd weekend of our stay. So we had a huge van - equally as large as the one Thrifty sent to fetch us from the airport - and it took my dh ("dear husband") some time to remember the mechanics of driving stick. Then, figuring out if the MapQuest directions followed the German roads and road signs was another challenge. Fortunately, we eventually found our hotel.

We unloaded the bags and had a quiet dinner in the hotel beer garden. The first hurdle, especially for our oldest, was drinks. She usually just drinks water at home, but of course, not mineral water and not fizzy water - just plain tap water. Not an easy thing to find in Germany. Her next thought was, since this was vacation, how about a virgin strawberry dacquiri? But, we didn't see anything close on the menu. The other girls ordered Sprite, which was actually 7-UP, but our oldest isn't a pop drinker, so it was a challenge. Eventually, we all got drinks and food and ate a nice quiet dinner and headed back up to bed. There's a 7 hour time difference, but it didn't matter much to me the first night, I was exhausted after sleeping so little on the plane. I had trouble that night, waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep, but was ready to go early the next morning.

Our first morning, we met with Catherine, our relocation agent, in the hotel lobby after breakfast. She had taken a questionnaire from us several weeks earlier with information about our current house. The idea was to find us a house comparable in size to what we have in Illinois. This was not an easy task, as our current home has 4 large bedrooms and a lot of space - probably 3,500 square feet, including the family room in the finished basement. Houses in Germany tend to be much smaller, but I was adament that the girls each have their own bedroom. I didn't want to make this move any harder on them than it already was by forcing them to begin sharing a bedroom. We were flexible about pretty much everything else - it could be an apartment, a house, a townhouse, have a small yard, a large yard or no yard - we just wanted 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

Catherine gave us our schedule for the next three days, during which time she would be showing us the two international schools and the houses she'd found available for rent that might meet our requirements. Amazingly, she'd found a lot of large houses, primarily in several of the smaller towns to the northwest of Frankfurt. The first stop was school #1 - the Frankfurt International School (FIS). When I'd researched schools on the internet, it seemed like this school wouldn't be as good a fit for our girls, simply because they teach the I.B. program and the other school, ISF, offers American A.P. classes. Given that our oldest would be starting her junior year of high school in Germany, and was already signed up to take A.P. classes back in Illinois, it seemed like a good idea to send them to I.S.F. to maintain continuity for her. However, FIS has incredible after-school programs, for both students and parents, is larger, more established, and has a great community for expats. We had heard from an acquaintance that more Americans put their kids in FIS as it was more like an American school.

For whatever reason, FIS just didn't click for us. The adminstrator we met was very nice, took us on a tour of the extensive facilities and gave us a lot of information about the school. But, by the time we left, when our relocation agent asked what the girls thought about the facilities, our oldest was tearing up. Her high school in Illinois recently finished a $40M renovation project, making it a tough school to beat when it comes to updated facilities. This was not an auspicious beginning.

We went on to tour houses, some of which were great and some of which were not. We decided early on that we had to name each house in order to keep them all straight when we talked about them later. This proved to be a very valuable tool, since we saw 16 houses in 3 days and would have had trouble keeping them straight without the names, my notes and my digital camera. I'll never house-hunt again w/out a digital camera. Each night, we reviewed our notes, talked about the houses, and looked at the photos. Once we decided a particular house wasn't for us, we just deleted the pictures. Usually, this was over dinner in the hotel because we were too exhausted to go anyway. Right before our early bedtime.

We saw I.S.F on the morning of the 2nd day, and what a difference there was right from the start. The administrator who met with us was animated and excited and got the girls engaged from the start. They were much more excited as we toured the school and asked a lot more questions. Because my oldest daughter moving at the beginning of her junior year, we had to meet with the head of ciricculum for the upper school, to discuss how she would join mid-way through their 2-year program for 10th & 11th grade. She got frustrated when she was told she'd have to take placement tests in math, English, Spanish, chemistry, biology and social studies in order to be placed in the right level of classes - especially since I'd told her she'd have to take tests while we were in Germany over spring break and then the relocation agent said she wouldn't have to take tests, and then the school told her she would have to, but we'd have to find a time to come back to take them. But, even with the tests and the concern getting her up-to-speed in social studies by taking a summer school class and some at-home tutoring from mom, she still seemed much happier with ISF. By the time we walked out of that school, the girls all agreed that they preferred ISF to FIS and that this would be the school they chose. Of course, for the younger two, the pool was definitely a plus.

Over the three days, we saw the "new construction," the "wine house," the "fish house," the "mole house," the "house on the hill," the "Bavarian house," the "yellow bathroom house," the "mansion"...we saw a lot of houses! It was basically fun for us all, especially the girls, even though it was exhausting. We left the hotel around 9 a.m. each day and usually didn't get back until after 6 p.m. Lunch was mostly a quick sandwich or pretzel bread from one of the many local bakeries. We saw a lot of lovely towns - Bad Homburg, Bad Soden, Konigstein, Kronberg, Oberusel, etc. All communities in which many expats live, all within a reasonable distance from the two international schools and some closer than others to the A5, the autoban highway dh would be taking to drive to Weinheim - probably 45 mins to an hour away. While in some of the towns, we did a little shopping, checked out a mall to get our biometric photographs taken for our visa applications, and even saw a castle or two. Even though it rained every day, there were spots of sunshine and it was warm. We really didn't get the tourist view of Germany, but we saw a lot in those 3 days.

The morning of the third day, as we drove to our first house and the only one in the city, my mind was reeling from the houses we'd seen at the end of the second day. We had a list going of the top 4 choices - the first two we'd seen on the first day (the new construction house and the wine house) and the last two we'd seen on the second day (the mole house and the Bavarian house). The Bavarian house was lovely and, even though not in my favorite of the neighborhoods we'd seen, I knew we could be very comfortable there. The owners live next door and were very anxious that we sign the lease, even though they had 2 other families who had already decided to rent it. We were the only Americans and the only ones with 3 kids and since the owners had such good luck renting to American families in the past, they really wanted us. Of the four houses still in consideration, the Bavarian house was my favorite, although the kids mostly liked the wine house better. But I knew that we could be happy in any of those four houses, except perhaps the new construction. Given all of the thoughts spinning around in my head, I was resisting seeing a whole new days of houses - we were scheduled to see 6, the first of which was the only house in Frankfurt itself.

As we drove to the Frankfurt house, I almost spoke up and asked our relocation agent if we could just skip it. The suburban houses were lovely and much more like we had at home. I didn't want to be in the city, didn't want an attached house when we could have a free-standing one in the suburbs, didn't like the thought of trying to find parking every day on the street outside some house in the city when I could choose a lovely house in the suburbs with a garage and parking area. I really thought we'd be wasting our time, but decided to keep quiet about it, because Catherine is a nice woman and I figured it wouldn't look good for her with the realtors if she called up to cancel so shortly before we were supposed to be there.

When she pulled up in front of the house, my eyes perked up immediately. It was absolutely gorgeous - but there was no way the entire house could be ours. We assumed it must be a two-flat or something similar, although we hadn't seen anything like that. The owner's agent met us at the gate and let us in. There was a huge driveway and 3-car garage inside the walled yard, as well as an enormous back yard. But the house - it was huge, immaculate and absolutely stunning. From the first moment, the girls dubbed this one the mansion - and it really was. The kitchen was much bigger than many of the others we'd seen - German kitchens just aren't that big. The house was built in 1900 and it showed - high ceilings (12-14 feet), beautiful crown molding, a gorgeous winding stairway - the girls call it the princess stairs. They all want to be married from that house so they can process down the stairs in their wedding gowns. There are 6 bedrooms, the master and two others on the 2nd floor and three more on the third floor. The girls can all be on the third floor, with their own bathroom, and a separate alcove for couches and a TV to watch US DVDs and videos - we could even hook up the GameCube up there. Everything had been updated 4 years ago, so the kitchen and baths were lovely and had every convenience possible. The entire house had been wired for cable TV and internet access. There are at least 4 large rooms in the basement, as well as a wine cellar. Rather than having to pick and choose what would go with us to Germany and leaving a lot of our belongings in storage, we'd have room for everything - and more! The "garden" is huge, very private, has enormous trees and doesn't feel a bit like you're in the city. And, the owner's agent told us, maintenance of the yard was included in our rent. We wouldn't even have to mow.

Before we left, we walked around the neighborhood a bit, stopped in the butcher shop for drinks for the girls and saw at least 2 bakeries. We saw several other houses that day, but the first on everyone's list now was the mansion. In fact, that was part of what convinced me that this move was meant to be - all 5 o f us agreed that ISF was the right school for our girls and all 5 of us chose the mansion as our favorite house. No one had to be outvoted, no one's choice got ignored. We all agreed on both.

By the time we parted with Catherine at the end of the day on Wednesday, we felt sure that the mansion was the house for us. Chris was to go into the corporate offices in Mannheim on Thursday, so he would be taking the school and house information with him. We didn't know at that point if we were just on a fact-finding mission of sorts or if we could really go ahead and sign a lease on a house, if we weren't sure yet when we would be moving. And, actually, at that point, he hadn't told the company that we'd definitely accept the move. But, when he finally made it to the office on Thursday, after getting a little lost on the way to Mannheim, he accepted the job, got approval on ISF and gave them the applications so the company could pay for the school, and got approval on the house. Since it was comparable in size to our home in Illinois, it was a go. We contacted Catherine, who negotiated the rental price and starting date with the owner's agent and got a copy of the lease. We had a house!

Friday morning, before my niece arrived from London, we were able to go back through the house to take measurements and more photos. We met the owner's daughter, who had lived in the Chicago suburbs for a while and speaks wonderful English. Everyone was very excited, knowing that the house would be ours as soon as the paperwork was complete. We took lots of pictures, made plans for every room, and starting visualizing our furniture in the house. It started to become our home, even sitting empty. After we picked up my niece at the airport, we brought her back to see the outside of the house and the neighborhood. We walked in a larger circle around the neighborhood and had lunch at a Chinese restaurant a couple of blocks away. It all felt right. When we talked about taking this house, we discussed that it would be a new experience for our family, living in a big city as opposed to the suburbs. But, given that we were taking a three-year assignment, the bus for the school would pick the girls up right in our neighborhood and it was a shorter commute for Chris, we decided to give it a try. If we didn't particularly like city life, we knew it was for a short duration and we'd be back to the Chicago suburbs in about 3 years. So, we had a school, we had a house, and the move was on. By this time, my head was really spinning!

We took my niece to Heidelberg on Friday - it was beautiful. We climbed to the top of the cathedral and looked out over the city. We walked up to the castle, took the automated tour and marvelled over the incredible view. We had lunch in a little Italian restaurant and shopped at the Gummi bear store. It was a lovely day in Heidelberg, visiting and being tourists. We left Heidelberg at about 6 p.m. and drove to Weinheim, where we met the man who is currently in dh's new job, and his wife, and they gave us a tour of the facility that dh will be in charge of in his new position. Then they took us to a lovely dinner in a fancy Italian restaurant - good thing we like Italian food a lot. By the time we got back to the hotel on Friday night, it was midnight and we were exhausted. So, Saturday we took it slowly. Had breakfast in the hotel and then drove to Wiesbaden. While driving around the town, we spotted a Wal-Mart Supercenter, so we had to go in. Knowing that we'd need to buy a washer, dryer, extra refrigerator, and other German appliances, we really wanted to get a feel for what the prices would be. I also liked the idea of knowing what sort of things I could get in Wal-Mart if I wanted to, as opposed to what I might need to pack up and bring with me. It was very funny to see American section of the International food department - peanut butter, marshmellows, Hershey bars, and mac&cheese - what a great comment about the American diet. Ugh! We drove along the Rhine river for a while and then headed back to Frankfurt - we were all too tired to do much but have a nice dinner in the hotel and play some cards in the lobby. We found that the lobby bar would make virgin strawberry dacquiris, so the girls were happy. My niece was happy just to have some time with family, even if we didn't give her the greatest tourist experience of Germany. She'll have to come visit us once we're in the house and know our way around a bit - we'll be much better tour guides then.

Sunday we all packed up and headed out to the airport to fly home - us to Chicago and her to London. I felt good that she had about a month until her classes were over and her parents would come tour England with her the last week before returning to the states. We sent her back to London well-fed, renewed with a family visit, and with a little money in her pocket to help cover the high costs of living (and eating) in London. We played some cards in the airport, bought chocolates and books for the flights home and climbed on the plane to fly back to Chicago. We had an entire row to ourselves, the bulkhead row, which was very comfortable. The movies were good, we mostly stayed awake the whole trip, and got home tired, dirty, and overwhelmed, but happy. It was an incredibly successful trip, compared to what it could have been, and made me feel secure that we were making the right decision and embarking on an exciting and worthwhile adventure for all of us. The only thing was, I couldn't sleep for all the thoughts and to-do lists and what-ifs running through my brain. The move would be here in no time at all and there was so much to do to get ready. It would be great, but I might just go crazy in the 3 months before we left!

And so it begins...

The road leading us to Frankfurt has been long. It began in 2000, when my husband's employer told him he was being considered for a position at the corporate headquarters in Germany to start in a couple of years. It evolved over time to a definite move in the summer of 2003, but then the war in Iraq heated up and the German employees they asked to trade places w/us refused. Apparently, our location in the western suburbs of Chicago was too dangerous a place to bring their families. So, we were told it wasn't happening and, although we were disappointed, we got on with the business of raising our children and enriching our lives here.

So, when my husband told me in June, 2005 that he'd been offered a job in Germany, a specific position to start at the beginning of 2006, I was stunned. I thought we'd decided we wouldn't even consider a move again until our youngest was out of high school. Yet, here we were with our oldest just done with her freshman year of high school, our middle daughter finishing 6th grade and our youngest finishing 4th grade. Basically all they wanted from us at that point was a decision as to whether or not we'd consider moving for 3 years. My husband and I discussed it, we discussed it with our kids, and spent some time thinking over the possibilities. Since we weren't really committing ourselves at that point, we said yes, we'd consider it.

And the research began.

I bought all the books I could find on being an expat, moving your family overseas, living in Germany, understanding the German culture and how to help your kids adjust to such a huge change in their lives. I read them, my husband read them, we talked about them. There was a lot of information out there and it was a little overwhelming.

I search the internet relentlessly. I found websites on living in Germany, being an expat in general and in Germany specifically, and on moving children overseas. I spent countless hours clicking links to language courses, relocation consultants, expat connections, housing concerns, tourism bureaus, cultural treatises, and experts on the emotional impact of moving kids. It was incredibly exciting, but also incredibly frightening.

Was this the right thing to do for our family? Would our kids hate us forever, especially our oldest, for pulling them out of their schools and away from their friends? While I believe strongly that travel is essential to creating a full and enriched life, was it necessary to actually live abroad to raise well-rounded, intelligent children who were understanding and sympathetic to the ways of the world? Maybe.

I searched international schools near the company headquarters in Weinheim. There's not much, I have to say. There's an international school in Heidelberg, but they couldn't accomodate all three of our girls, because they didn't have high school classes yet. There's the department of Defense schools in Heidelberg for military dependents, but that would only be an option on a space-available basis, since my husband isn't in the military. I didn't like the uncertainty of that. So, I kept looking and found two viable options - in Frankfurt.

Our daughters have always been in the gifted and honors classes in their schools. My husband and I both went to an Ivy League university and have many teachers on both sides of our family. Education is highly valued in our family and we stress academics with our girls. They have bright, inquiring minds, and truly enjoy school. Our oldest already hopes to attend an East Coast Ivy League university when she graduates from high school, not something many of her classmates here in the mid-west necessarily consider. Not that there aren't many students bright enough for the Ivies in her class, but it seems to us that people in this area just don't go East very much. Not for vacations and not for college.

So, anyway, it was important to us that we found a school that would be academically challenging for our girls and prepare them well for admittance in top notch American universities. While both of the schools we found seemed to fit that bill, one offered American AP courses, which made sense to me. Whether she took an AP class in Illinois or in Germany, her score on the AP exam would mean the same to Cornell when it came time to apply to college. There wouldn't be a chance for her fitness as an applicant to get lost in translation. Apples to apples, so to speak. So, although we would reserve our final decision until after seeing the schools, we agreed that this school seemed to be a good option.

So, if they kids were going to school in Frankfurt and my husband was working near Mannheim, where would we live? I tried to research housing options in the Frankfurt area, but not speaking German made this a half-hearted effort at best. I asked that the company consider hiring a relocation consultant for us, to help make this transition easier and fill in the gaps of information for us. I looked for expat connections and it seemed that we'd have no trouble finding other Americans and English-speakers in the Frankfurt area.

I felt strongly that it was important for my kids to be able to live near their schools, so they could participate in activities and be reasonably close to friends they might make. I wanted to live in an area where other expats live, so that they could walk outside and hear others speaking English and so that I could meet other English-speaking women. Everything I read said it would be important to the girls and to me to have some familiarity around us in the dizzying new world of living in Germany.

After all the reading and research, discussion and dialog, we felt good with our decision and awaited further information from the company. We planned for my husband to move at Christmas time, but for me to stay in Illinois with the girls until the end of the 2005-2006 school year, planning to move there in the summer. My husband discussed the move with his boss in the US in addition to the executives in Germany, getting as much information as he could and letting them know how we felt about the opportunity.

So then, the wait began.

I'm not good with waiting, I'll admit. I became frustrated at the lack of information. We didn't hear anything for months at a time. We eventually learned that his start date was being pushed back until the spring or summer of 2006. This caused me to have flashbacks of all the times the proposed move in the summer of 2003 was delayed, pushed back, and eventually abandoned. I decided to put the whole thing on a shelf labeled "possibility" instead of "probability." I went about the business of my life, leading Girl Scout troops, driving car pool and raising my girls. I decided to get a part-time job, but the possibility of the move gave me justification not to look for a "real" job, something career-oriented.

I wanted to stay an at-home mom to my girls and only work part-time, while they were in school. And even though I'm a licensed attorney, I haven't practiced since my 15-year-old was about one. I'm not even licensed in Illinois and have no real desire to practice any time soon. I worked part-time as a paralegal in Chicago when the girls were little and it would have made sense to look for something similar, if I was serious about getting a job. But, with the possibility of a move in less than a year, I opted to take a low-paying, minimally-stressful job as a book merchandiser, just to have a small income and a social outlet.

Things remained quiet on the work front. The fall came and went with no news at all. We saw our families at Christmas, but couldn't give them any more information than we'd had for months. We planned to take the girls to see Germany over Spring break, but hadn't heard anything about it, even though February was rapidly coming to an end. So, my husband started asking what was up, had they changed their minds yet again. No, no, we were told, everything's still on. The whole thing was starting to make me nuts - didn't they realize what a huge undertaking this would be for us? Couldn't we get some definite answers and start making some plans?

Finally, by the beginning of March, we were told to go ahead and find a flight for Spring Break and that they'd hired a relocation consultant, who began planning our trip and organizing information for the move. After all the months of waiting, this struck me as a serious commitment by the company - the move was really going to happen, if we agreed. All that really remained was for us to see the schools, see what kind of housing would be available to us in the area, what Chris's job and commute would be like. It was up to us to make up our minds after this fact-finding trip - did we want to take the job or not?

It meant fresh tears for my oldest, lots of excited supposition by my middle daughter, and butterflies in my stomach. I think my youngest mostly thought of the chance to travel somewhere new and exciting for Spring Break. A chance to buy gummi bears and trinkets to bring home for their friends, like we do every time we travel. But the trip turned into so much more...