An American In Frankfurt

The ups and downs of relocating my family of five from the suburbs of Chicago to Frankfurt Germany.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Only three more weeks and emotions are running high...

Three weeks from today, I will be driving out of IL with dds#2&3, leaving behind dd#1 and an empty house. I'm nowhere near ready, but the truck will come on June 21, whether I'm ready or not.

This has been a week of strong emotions, from both ends of the spectrum. The best news, as far as dh and I are concerned, is that we found a renter. A nice couple from New Zealand came through with their not-quite-3-year-old daughter, and another on the way. When I explained about the kids in nearly every house up and down the block, I think they were sold. They want a 2-year lease, moving in on July 15, which couldn't be much better if we designed it ourselves. It's a big relief - so big in fact, that I have been able to sleep past 5 a.m., and nearly to 6 a.m., for the first time since we got back from Germany in March.

I had lunch with 2 friends that I probably won't see again before we move and, although it was fun, it was definitely bittersweet. I really enjoy my time with each of them, especially the one I've really only gotten to know in the past year. I think these friendships would grow and strengthen over time, but I'm not sure how they'll survive the 3-year absence. So, it was good but also hard.

On the other hand, I was upset by a neighbor who made an unreasonable request of us this week and could only think that I'm glad we're going and soon.

DD#1 is having an emotional week - she was in tears on Thursday because it was her last full day of school and last day of choir, since she has no final in that class. She started finals, for which she has been studying hard, but has 3 more on Monday, never mind the 10 hours of placement exams for the international school that she has to take on Tuesday & Wednesday in Minneapolis. Meanwhile, she was very excited to get her drivers license yesterday, although disappointed that she couldn't get it on Tuesday when we went to DMV because her drivers ed. teacher hadn't put her in the State system yet. She beat her boyfriend to the DMV, so was happy to rub his face in the fact that she got her license about 1/2 hour before he did, even though he turned 16 about 5 months before she did. She took her sisters out for ice cream as soon as we got back from the DMV, but got caught by a train and brought her youngest sister home 15 mins. late for the surprise party being thrown in her honor. I stressed out as well because I was calling them for about 1/2 hour before they got home, but dd#1 had left the house w/out her purse or cellphone. Hopefully that won't happen again.

DD#3 was also having an emotional week. She was truly surprised by the party, which was a huge success. There were at least 25 girls there - she says it was every girl in the 5th grade except those who couldn't come for some reason. It was a surprise farewell & birthday party, since her birthday is in August and we'll be gone before then. She was really pleased, but had been getting upset for some time before the party because she felt her friends were leaving her out of something. Of course, they were and now she understands why, but she was getting her feelings hurt every time they would stop talking when she approached the group or not tell her what they were up to.

DD#2 was very excited to get her braces off yesterday - she looks great. However, she was feeling left out herself last night when dd#1 had her boyfriend and another couple over to watch TV and dd#3 was off at her surprise party. DD#2 doesn't know yet that her best friend has planned a pizza party next Wednesday as a farewell and then a special day for just the two of them at a pottery place for Thursday. All dd#2 knows is she was alone w/nothing to do. Also, she had a tough time with kids at school this week and with a few members of her team at the softball game on Thursday, so she was having a tough time all around.

I'm feeling very stressed because everyone seems to be asking me to fit something in at the last minute, even though they "know how busy" I am. If they really knew this, they wouldn't have waited until the last minute to plan whatever it is they want to plan, especially since we've know about this move in the abstract for nearly a year and definitely for nearly 3 months. Plus, there is so much left to be done around the house, especially the inventory, and I am tired and overwhelmed and getting pretty sick of having every minute scheduled. I plan to take a number of books with me to Minneapolis on Monday night and spend all day Tuesday & Wednesday reading & relaxing while dd#1 takes her placement tests. But still, it's hard for me to work up the energy today to get the girls up and going and doing some work, let alone getting myself to do some work. Dh is in Germany and will, thankfully, be home tonight. I hope he's not too stressed, jet-lagged or overworked to help around the house a lot in the next 2 weeks, because I'm really starting to fee overwhelmed by the load of being the primary person in charge of getting our household ready for the move. The inventory seems daunting to me and I'm running out of steam.

On the other hand, I did accomplish a lot this week. Because we got renters, I postponed the interior painter so she doesn't come on Monday. I wasn't ready to have to prepare the girls' rooms to be painted this weekend and would rather she do it after we've moved out and the house is empty. Also, that way the renters can have an opinion on what colors we choose to paint the bedrooms. And, I still haven't found the leftover paint for touch-ups in the kitchen or family room.

The piano is gone as is some of the family room furniture. I packed one suitcase for me to take to NY and then to Germany, so I have a better feel of what I'll be having shipped and will need to inventory in my bedroom. I ordered, and already received, the transformers for our electrical appliances in Germany and a new DVD player that works on all currency and with all formats of DVDs. We got Chris's passport before he had to leave for Germany and are still waiting for ours. It seems foolish to get the visas and residency forms put into our passports, which were set to expire in the next 2 years, so we filed for new ones that will last beyond the time for us to move back to the states. I got quite a few more boxes packed for storage and took the kitchen screen to be repaired.

Unfortuantely, I thought I was doing a good thing asking the pediatrician for copies of our records when I took dds#1&3 for physicals a couple of weeks ago. DD#2 couldn't get an appointment at the same time, so I thought I'd pick up the copies when I brought her in for her appointment. Well, the women I talked to at the desk told me to fill out forms requesting the files, but didn't communicate the fact that we weren't leaving IL until late June to the records person. So, they copied and then destroyed our files, removing us from their patient list and cancelling dd#2's appointment. I only found out when the pharmacy called to say that they couldn't refill the prescriptions I'd requested because they called the pediatrician for authorization and were told we were no longer patients there. Now they have to use the copies of the files to re-establish us as patients, reschedule dd#2's appointment (when my calendar's already stretched to the max) and call-in refills on the prescription. There was no "effective date" designation on the forms, but at least I'll know if the future to write one on!

We got our NY post office box address, so I've been able to send change of address notices to magazines and other companies. Now that we know when our renters are moving in and dh is moving out, I can send the notice to the post office as well. I made a call to our attorney to talk about the effectiveness of our wills and trusts while we're expats, but haven't heard from her yet. Dh's employer is still trying to unravel the issue of our medical insurance. And I have some bank accounts to close and others to open, including a safe deposit box, but not until we get to Upstate NY. So, while I'm checking things off on my list, the list in never-ending and I'm getting worn out. The two days in Minneapolis may be a good break, but given that I know there'll still be a lot to do when I get back, I'm not sure it'll help that much. At least dd#1 and I can go to the Mall of America! :)

So, between the never-ending work, the high level of stress and the emotional rollercoaster around here, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed and ready for it all to be over. But, I also am going to miss our home and friends here. I'm also worried about the girls and how they'll adjust and how much they'll miss their friends and schools. So, in another way, I'm not ready for it all to be over either. And I'm pretty sure the girls are having similar feelings, so everyone's conflicted and emotional and touchy and a little crabby. It's going to be a tough three weeks around here.

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