An American In Frankfurt

The ups and downs of relocating my family of five from the suburbs of Chicago to Frankfurt Germany.

Monday, September 10, 2007

First Day of School


August 27, 2007 - the girls as they begin 12th, 9th and 7th grades.
I was more than a little sentimental because this is dd#1's last first day of school picture. Yes, she'll have other first days of school - or at least, first days of college. But, this is the last time she'll stand with her sisters and have a picture taken as they all head out the door to go to school together.
I think I was more affected by this than on her first day of school. I know she's ready and I'm sure she'll be fine, but I'm not ready for her to move on and not be a part of our day-to-day lives anymore. Maybe I'll be more ready by the end of this, her senior year. But right now, I want to have more time living with her.
When we had a 16-year-old Austrian girl living with us for two weeks this summer, as part of the international exchange program through dh's work, we asked her what surprised her about us, what preconceived notions she had about Americans before she arrived that she didn't see as being true. Other than the fact that we don't eat as much fast food as she thought we would, her biggest surprise was the amount of time we spend together, as a family. The fact that we eat dinner together every night, or as often as possible. And on the weekends, we often go places and do things together, whether it be going to the movies, out to eat, to festivals, shopping, whatever.
Now, I'll admit we have more family togetherness time as Americans living in Germany than we did or would have if we were back in our home in Elmhurst, IL. The girls don't have friends in our neighborhood here nor do they have as many friends as they had there. DD#1 can't drive in Germany, as she was just starting to before our move. And here there aren't the incessant number of softball games, tennis matches, school plays, concerts, etc. - in part because they're all at the same school, but also because there aren't the same after-school activities and sports here that are part of the daily life in suburban IL.
But, even so, we've always tried to have dinner together, as often as possible. Our Austrian visitor said that the mid-day meal is the big meal for them, which is also true of the Germans. But, since the girls are all at school and dh is at work, an hour away, there's no way for us to be together at that meal. The girls leave the house at 7:30 a.m. and return at 5 p.m., unless they have sports, from which they return at about 6:30 p.m. DH usually gets home around 6:30, so we try to hold dinner until he gets home most nights, unless he's traveling. But it's so important to us to know what's going on in each other's lives to be able to sit around the table together at dinner. We routinely go over each other's "best thing" that happened in the day, sometimes also the worst thing. It helps keep us connected as a family. Will dd#1 be phoning that in next year?
A big part of the reason that we do so much together as a family, whether it's at home eating dinner, watching a movie, or playing a game or if it's going out to dinner and a movie, going shopping, going to a festival or sporting event - whatever, we're together because we genuinely like being together. We like our children as people and so far, thank goodness, they seem to like being with us, at least most of the time. Yes, they enjoy going out with friends and having time to themselves, but they can't wait to tell us all about it when they get home. I like this and it gives me hope for even after they've all left home for college and beyond. I know we won't be as intimately involved in every detail of their lives, even after they get through college, but at least I think they'll still want to call and tell us of the big things going on with them. And I'm still going to want to hear about their "best thing."

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