Sweet but also sad...

We had the big Sweet 16 party this weekend and it was wonderful. We probably had 45 teenagers, plus 10 adults, and everything was great. The weather was colder than we would have liked, but it didn't rain - which was my biggest worry.

My two oldest sisters arrived Friday night for the weekend. I picked them up at the airport, we stopped at the junior high track meet and picked up my middle daughter and then met my husband and oldest daughter at a German restaurant for dinner. It was a lot of fun and everyone had a great time. Our DD#1 was very happy to have her aunts fly in from Upstate New York for her party, as we all were.

DD#1 was surprised by the Flamingos that "flocked" our front yard on Saturday morning in honor of the party - it was really cute. At least she didn't have to worry about people finding the right house. We took a group trip to the nearby nursery and stocked up on hanging baskets and some annuals in the party colors of hot pink and lime green (well, hot pink anyway) and brought home some beautiful plants for decorating. Then, DD#1 went off to a baseball game much of the day, although she had to leave early to go to the house of one of the boys who'd been invited to the party. His parents had never met us or our daughter and wouldn't let their son come to the party until they met her. Smart parents, although I was surprised they didn't want to meet us as well.

I took DD#2 and the aunts and headed to the outlet mall for a short spurt of shopping before the big event. They don't have a Chicos outlet near them, so it was a fun trip. By the time we got back home, DD#3 had a bunch of her friends over playing on the trampoline and the rented bouncy-house Twister board. After a quick surge of energy for planting the flowers (the aunts did this) and some cleanup and set up, we all took a short nap/breather in the afternoon, to get ready for the big party.

We had arranged for about 10 of DD#1's closest friends to arrive at 5 p.m. to help with the decorating and set up - streamers, balloons, etc., - and ordered 8 pizzas to feed the workers. This turned out to be a really nice time for our daughter and her best friends, since they worked and ate and still had fun. She really has a nice group of close friends - both guys and girls - and not many of them are couples, other than DD#1 and her boyfriend. He was the first to arrive, even before 5 p.m., and got right to work. He's really a nice guy and has been a great first boyfriend for our daughter. We'll all miss him and his family, who are also really nice. We've gotten to know them a bit this year, spending some time together at Thanksgiving & Easter - they even came to the party on Saturday night. Just a great family - I'm sorry we didn't get to know them sooner.

More and more kids started arriving as the hour got closer to 7 p.m. and the party kicked into high gear. We had invited a few adults, including the boyfriend's family, one of DD#1's closest girlfriend's parents, and our neighbors down the street, who have 4 kids that were all at the party. So, it was a nice evening for us as well, with my two sisters, dh & myself having adult guests and great conversation.

It was great to watch the kids go from the trampoline to the bouncy Twister board, to the ping-pong table, to the food tables, to the silly string, birthday cake, and many food tables. They are really a great group of teenagers and it made me feel proud of DD#1, happy for her and also sad. I know this is a hard move for her, leaving her school, her best friends, her boyfriend, her tennis team, and all of her friends - this just made the sadness all the more real for me. I see the good that can come from the move - for all of us, her included. I think it will be especially good for her sisters, but I do think DD#1 will have some incredible, life-enriching experiences during her 2 years in Europe. But, I also see what she's being forced to give up and I know that it's valuable, worthwhile and important, too. She's found people who love her, like her, value her, and enjoy her - people outside the family that she feels this same way about. That's precious and it's going to tear her apart to leave them, even though she'll be able to stay in touch with email and IM and phone calls, even though we've promised that she can come back and visit often. It just won't be the same and, even though we knew this, it was hard for me to see it up close and personal on Saturday night.

I know that the chance to live in another country, on another continent, to learn another language, know more about other cultures, and travel extensively is a valuable opportunity. This is a good thing and she will benefit from it. I also know that she's a happy, smart, strong, well-adjusted young woman and I couldn't be prouder of who she is. So it's also tearing me apart to have to hurt her this way, even if it will be a good thing in the long. We're betting on the fact that it will be, but seeing her with all of her friends sent some fleeting second thoughts racing through my brain. This is going to be hard.